No Surprises Living In Devizes: It’s no joke, this town delivers more than brexfast

GLORIOUS leader Claire Perry takes to Facebook this week to say, “Just seen a hilarious item in the ‘Daily Mail suggesting I will be moving to Cambridge! Rest assured, I moved with my family into the heart of Devizes...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Capital goal of DW canoe racers

“BABY this town rips the bones from your back;” if you’re born to run you’d better take a few other albums with you fleeing Devizes, because it’ll be darkness on the edge of town before you’ve reached Cannings Hill...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: May fair scrapped… and winning takeaway fare

DEVIZES once allowed lions to roam freely around the school, but in these structured days Devizes Lions have had to cancel an event due to health and safety regulations. Won’t someone inform the doomed-if-they-do, doomed-if-they-don’t Wiltshire Council, Devizes Lions are...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Wander through Wadworthshire

DELIVERING around London is stressful at the best of times. By last drop all I wanted was to go home; away from congestion, box junction cameras and uncaring masses. Yes, back to charming countryside; if anything spurred a familiarity...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Breakthrough for food bank

I CAN'T believe the amount of ground we’ve covered within this humble weekly column. When looking back in order to put the book together, (plug-plug) it became clear how important this adventure has been, in some instances! Yeah we’ve had...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Chris has Channel in his sights

SO, pompous doubtfully future king, Prince Charles dropped by on Friday to visit our eminent ale industry and pat some shire horses. Next door, diligent car-cleaning folk had a numpty sniper on a roof, irritating them with an air...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Will Potterne’s pothole swallow us all up?

THE size of a 10-storey building, Asteroid 2017AG13 narrowly missed the Earth on Tuesday, January 10, and was only spotted by the Catalina Sky Survey the Saturday prior. Should it have collided with our bluey-green rock, it’d have gone off...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Teenage rampage or Wiltshire Youth Assembly?

“AW my gawd,” Nan howled, “Reg; come an ‘ave a butcher’s at this!” I recall my Grandad sauntering into the front room as ordered, tea towel in hand. He examined the content on television and stood aghast in the doorway....

No Surprises Living In Devizes: First Birthday Smash!

THE model of all which is traditional about our humble town was enveloped in one fantastic Gazette article this week; Basil Brush was found safe. Scholar’s archaic charity collection box in the shape of the popular TV character Basil Brush,...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Do we tar youth with the wrong brush?

RECOGNISED I’m getting on a bit while peeking out of the imaginary net-curtains at teenagers suspiciously hanging around the children’s playpark. My senior mind began to speculate the malice “bored minds” were scheming, only to realise moments later they...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: MP flabbergasts and mesmerises

YOU lucky people; been cutting a fine deadline, writing your least favourite causerie as I’ve been gallivanting again; so I hope you appreciate the last minute blood and guts I’ve emptied over it. The question being, whose guts are...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Return of the Mac

YEP, I’m back like a bad smell on your shoe rack. Apologies for the temporary strike; there were personal hurdles, and to add to the general misery, the laptop gave up the ghost. The PC Doctor of Rowde came...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Hang on for bumpy ride into a snowy past

WINTER: appreciatively a feeble effort to date. Michael Fish come back, all is forgiven. Perhaps his blooper prompted the contemporary weatherman code of overstating portends. Is it favourable to exaggerate bad weather then to bomb predicting a hurricane? The Great Storm...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Lights on, nobody’s home

MANY moons ago, when I lived in Swindon an overexcited friend enquired if I was attending the Old Town Christmas light switch-on, with added pitiful annotation to sway me, “Ian Beale is doing it!” Despite the wealth he must have...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Broke in Marlborough

I NOTICE Marlborough’s Facebook group has added “UK” to its title, being there’s several other “Marlboroughs” worldwide, including USA, New Zealand and Zimbabwe; show-offs. There’s no mistaking Devizes; we’re one of a kind. Attempts to replicate resulted in economic decline...