No Surprises Living In Devizes: Teenage rampage or Wiltshire Youth Assembly?

“AW my gawd,” Nan howled, “Reg; come an ‘ave a butcher’s at this!” I recall my Grandad sauntering into the front room as ordered, tea towel in hand. He examined the content on television and stood aghast in the doorway....

No Surprises Living In Devizes: First Birthday Smash!

THE model of all which is traditional about our humble town was enveloped in one fantastic Gazette article this week; Basil Brush was found safe. Scholar’s archaic charity collection box in the shape of the popular TV character Basil Brush,...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: Do we tar youth with the wrong brush?

RECOGNISED I’m getting on a bit while peeking out of the imaginary net-curtains at teenagers suspiciously hanging around the children’s playpark. My senior mind began to speculate the malice “bored minds” were scheming, only to realise moments later they...

No Surprises Living In Devizes: MP flabbergasts and mesmerises

YOU lucky people; been cutting a fine deadline, writing your least favourite causerie as I’ve been gallivanting again; so I hope you appreciate the last minute blood and guts I’ve emptied over it. The question being, whose guts are...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Return of the Mac

YEP, I’m back like a bad smell on your shoe rack. Apologies for the temporary strike; there were personal hurdles, and to add to the general misery, the laptop gave up the ghost. The PC Doctor of Rowde came...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Hang on for bumpy ride into a snowy past

WINTER: appreciatively a feeble effort to date. Michael Fish come back, all is forgiven. Perhaps his blooper prompted the contemporary weatherman code of overstating portends. Is it favourable to exaggerate bad weather then to bomb predicting a hurricane? The Great Storm...

Bring on Christmas after all this empty spin

THERE is always something rather sad - and laughable - about the ‘spin’ which now follows every major event. Do you remember ‘Comical Ali’ broadcasting to the Iraqi Nation that everything was going brilliantly well for Saddam, at the...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Lights on, nobody’s home

MANY moons ago, when I lived in Swindon an overexcited friend enquired if I was attending the Old Town Christmas light switch-on, with added pitiful annotation to sway me, “Ian Beale is doing it!” Despite the wealth he must have...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Broke in Marlborough

I NOTICE Marlborough’s Facebook group has added “UK” to its title, being there’s several other “Marlboroughs” worldwide, including USA, New Zealand and Zimbabwe; show-offs. There’s no mistaking Devizes; we’re one of a kind. Attempts to replicate resulted in economic decline...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Ho Ho, Let’s Go

IDEALISTICALLY it’s a special event, snow-sprinkled fern trees line gaily lit streets, and smiling folk sip mulled wine, grasping the glove-filled hands of their dearest while moseying merrily. Children wrapped in scarfs and bobble-hats enthusiastically frolic around an ornate...

DES MORGAN: What next – I hear you ask

MUCH has been written and said about the recent legal decision of the High Court with regard to the Prime Minister's authority to use the Prerogative to invoke Article 50 which starts the process of the UK leaving the...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: The Devizes Skank

THE swanky Bear Hotel undeniably epitomises the aristocratic division of Devizes. The landmark stands proud at the head of the Market Place, the centre of our humble town. Historically rich with distinguished guests and proprietors, from Royal Academy Romanticist Sir...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Not in the Mood

I HAD no intentions of writing a column this week; was in one of those moods, get used to it. You lot presume I’ll scribe entertaining rants about Devizes each week and to be honest, it’s wearing thin. All I...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: Fountain of no knowledge

UNLESS the Queen cartwheels through Monday Market Street in her undercrackers between me writing this and you reading it, it’s been a slow news week. So despite laughing at the Gazette when they found it imperative to report on a...

No Surprises Living in Devizes: The little things

WHILE my beloved causerie was out on a tangent mocking neighbouring towns and Facebook groups, encouraging developments were occurring in Devizes. No need for negativity and sarcasm this week; let’s see how long it lasts. The Wiltshire Museum conveyed excitement...